Some Common Misconceptions about Sex

• The penis can become erect at very early stage, especially in a young man. This does not mean that he is necessarily ready the for intercourse and he may start too soon - before his partner feels ready. She may become anxious as she feels she is keeping him waiting.
  
  
• Vaginal lubrication may remain hidden especially in lying down positions. Both partners may assume she is not responding, when in fact she is. Penis gives a more obvious signal which the vagina may not.
  
  
• Arousal comes in waves in both the man and the woman. This is normal. The decline doesn't mean that something is wrong.
  
  
• Premature ejaculation (coming too soon, before the partner is ready) is normal in young men, particularly when very much aroused. Control comes with learning and practice.
  
  
• Many women may not have orgasm but are fully responsive. This doesn’t mean that they are frigid.
  
  
• Early sexual relationships may not have orgasms in women. Partners need not worry. Anxiety further inhibits it.
  
  
• The husband snoring one minute after ejaculating can produce resentment if the wife is still feeling the need for intimacy. The men have their refractory period (time during which sexual arousal is difficult) very fast. Woman need not feel upset (as if being used as a sleeping pill) - you can wake up your husband sometimes and let him know.

Sex Guide - How to Improve?

Like a breath of fresh AIR improves your mood, the three key elements for improving your sexual performance are as simple and as effective as the A. I. R.

• AVOID SPECTATORING
• IMPROVE COMMUNICATION
• REMOVE MISUNDERSTANDING

Avoid spectatoring:
Remember that you are not a spectator of an act, you are the act itself, and you are the participant. You are not there to critically analyze it and constantly to measure your efficiency. You are there to ‘Let Go’ and enjoy.

Enjoy the interaction and don’t aim or worry about the performance. Enjoy caressing, touching your partner (anywhere on the body). It’s nice to touch and feel close to your partner.

Break the cycle of watching/worrying/and further reducing the response.

Improve communication
Communication is a vital part of having Good Sex. Remember "Sex is as much between the Ears, as it is, between the Legs". Good communication with your partner can make the difference between having Sex ‘for the sake of it’ and having ‘a really good time’.

Communicate verbally/non-verbally. Tell your partner where else do you want, to be touched-how much and for how long. Tell him/her when it’s pleasurable and also when it hurts. Relax pleasantly and enjoy this without worrying about the ultimate. Enjoy in different positions, sometimes-female superior positions can be an easy position.

Remove Misunderstanding
A misunderstanding between the partners can really affect the sexual relationship badly. The clearer both are about each other and Sex the better it is. A feeling that something important needs to be sorted out before going further should not be overlooked.

Guide to Better Sex

Sex, like most other functions of our body is a normal process. As other functions, like for example, the digestion, can be upset by factors like a bad mood, stress or similar such things, so can the sexual function be disturbed by a whole lot of factors. These may not necessarily involve the anatomy but instead it’s the mind, which makes the difference.

If sex is allowed to happen naturally, in a relaxed way, our bodies will respond normally without any conscious effort on our part.

There are a wide variety of problem or situations that can upset the normal sexual responsiveness, most of them, fortunately, can be helped in a positive manner by understanding on our part. Here are a few of the most common amongst them and ways to improve:

• Misunderstanding and/or lack of information about sex :
  Its indeed one of the most telling ironies that Sex, despite being one of the most commonly discussed topic in our lives and in the media, there is a surprising lack of correct information about ‘What to Expect and How to Act’.
  
  Those images of the ‘Perfect Macho Man and The Perfect Sensual Woman’ on the TV and in the Magazines make us feel that Sex instead of being a perfectly normal natural and enjoyable thing, is an ‘Act to be Performed to Perfection’. All this does it to add to the confusion and leads to unrealistic fears, expectations and fantasies.
  
  
• Bad feelings about Sex and its consequences -

1. Fear of pregnancy; Fear of pain; Fear of being caught/ heard/ or interrupted.
2. Performance Anxiety-Fear of failing to perform well.
3. Fear of losing control (during orgasm) and /or becoming vulnerable.
4. Looking unattractive during the climax.
5. Bad feelings about yourself or your body like, feeling that the body is unattractive. Feelings that I am not successful (low self-esteem).

• Problems in relationship –
  Anger/resentment against the partner should be resolved as it can decrease the performance and pleasure while having sex.
  
  
• Unsuitable circumstances –
  While a ‘Quickie’ sometimes can be fun! But normally Good Sex requires a relaxed mind and body. Too much of a hurry, tiredness or preoccupation can rob you of the pleasures of Sex.
  
  
• Performance anxiety –
  This is one of the most significant problems in the way of Good Sex. We often forget that Sex is something that comes naturally to all of us, instead, we seem to view ourselves as performers who have to complete an act to perfection.
  
  
• Spectator role –
  Quite often we start observing ourselves as an audience, instead of really participating in it. – We observe ourselves ‘doing the act’, as if on stage (now coming, now coming...., so again it doesn't,...I knew it…etc.).

Women's Health

The woman's body is wonderfully complex and delicate. However, multiple roles as the mother, daughter, wife, homemaker, wage earner can be physically and mentally quite taxing. As a woman, you might share some common health risks with men, such as heart disease, but because of your special reproductive role, you are at risk of some distinctly female disorders.

This section deals with answers to some common problems like, menstrual disorders, pregnancy, breast feeding etc. Information on Sexually Transmitted Diseases and Contraceptives too have been included.

Menstrual Disorder

Premenstrual Syndrome

DEFINITION
PMS consists of various physical and/or emotional symptoms that occur in the second half of the menstrual cycle, after ovulation. It is characterized by premenstrual discomfort in the lower abdomen and back, and in the breasts. All these features precede the period by a week or ten days. Fortunately, a woman obtains relief when her menstrual period begins. Another feature of PMS is a symptom-free time for several days every month, in the first half of the menstrual cycle.

Features: these include physical features like acne, backache, bloating, sore breasts, and headache. Emotional symptoms might include changes in sexual desire, difficulty concentrating, irritability.

Women may gain upto a kg. of weight or more in the latter part of the menstrual cycle due to water retention in the body. Emotional stress often contributes to the symptoms.

The only saving grace in this problem is that few women experience all these symptoms! Most have a few that recur each month.

The symptoms of certain medical conditions can resemble PMS. These conditions include allergies, depression, diabetes, dysmenorrhea (painful periods), endometriosis, fibrocystic breast disease, and thyroid problems.

CAUSES
There's still some disagreement about what causes PMS, but it definitely seems to be linked to hormones. A relative lack of the hormone progesterone is suspected along with increase in a water retaining substance called anti diuretic hormone.

TREATMENT
The assessment of the emotional and work related stress is very important. Many women find that a balanced diet and healthy snacks are helpful, as are avoiding caffeine and reducing salt intake. Simple reassurance often does wonders, but often it is necessary to treat the symptoms with various drugs
Diuretics ("water pills") can reduce bloating
Analgesics like ibuprofen, aspirin ease headache or cramps
Combined oral contraceptives also called the birth control pill may be useful for some women.
Evening primrose oil (gamma linolenic acid) is also used widely these days.

Pregnancy

Symptoms of Pregnancy
For a woman having a regular monthly cycle, the earliest and most reliable sign of pregnancy is a missed period, or sometimes women who are pregnant have a very light period, losing only a little blood. Other signs are:

• Feeling sick, not necessarily in the morning, but at any time.
• The breasts may become larger and tender. Veins may become prominent and nipples may darken and stand out.
• Increased frequency in passing urine.
• Tendency for constipation.
• Tiredness.
• An increased vaginal discharge without any associated complaint.
• A metallic taste in the mouth.
• Dislike for certain things like tea or coffee or fatty foods.
• Increased liking for certain things like spicy foods.

Pregnancy test can be carried out on urine samples, as early as from the first day of a missed period-that is, about fourteen days after the conception.
A positive test result is almost definitive of pregnancy. If the test is negative, it is less reliable. It can be repeated after a week, or a doctor can be consulted.

What you should eat?
Pregnancy puts additional nutritional demands on your body. You require to eat judiciously to meet the demands of the body. Make sure that you eat a mixture of different foods each day in order to get all the various nutrients that you and your baby need.
Your diet should have plenty of fruit and vegetables which provide vitamins, minerals and fibre. Eat them lightly cooked or raw. Let starchy foods like bread, potatoes, rice and breakfast cereals with vegetables form the main part of any meal.

Eat some good sources of nutrients like fish, eggs, cheese, beans, and lentils every day. Dairy products like milk, cheese and yogurt are important as they contain calcium and other nutrients needed for your baby's development.
Avoid sugar and sugary foods like sweets, biscuits and cakes and sugary drinks like cola. Cut down on fat and fatty foods as well.

Mineral and vitamin supplements
A large number of pregnant women suffer from varying degrees of anemia so additional iron supplementation is provided by pills. Also tablets of Folic acid (a vitamin necessary to prevent certain spinal disorders in the growing baby) along with Calcium are generally prescribed by the health care providers.

Pregnancy and weight
Most women gain between 10 -12.5kgs (22 - 28lbs). Weight gain varies a great deal and depends on your weight before pregnancy. Weight gain significantly more or less than the average could be an indicator of a problem, so you must monitor your weight gain carefully. Also if you weigh more than 100kg or under 50kg your health care provider may have special advise for you.

Smoking during pregnancy
Try to stop. When you smoke, carbon monoxide and nicotine passes into your lungs and blood stream. This means that: a) your baby gets less oxygen and cannot grow as well as it should, and b) the nicotine makes your baby's heart beat faster. Constantly breathing in other people's smoke may also have a harmful effect.

Babies of mothers who smoke are, on average, 200g (about 8 oz) lighter than other babies. These babies may have problems during and after labour and are more prone to infection; it will be better for your baby later too if you stop smoking. Children whose parents smoke are more likely to suffer from illnesses such as asthma; and there is an increased risk of cot death.

Alcohol
It has now been shown that even small amounts of alcohol can be harmful to your baby. Alcohol has adverse effects on the baby's development and can produce a lot of anomalies generally termed as 'Fetal Alcohol Syndrome'. So to be safe avoid alcohol totally during your pregnancy.

Pills medicines and other drugs
You should be very careful while taking any kind of medication, specially in the earlier part of the pregnancy. Majority of drugs have some effects on the growing fetus and the first three months are crucial. You would be better off asking your doctor about any medications you want to take. Make sure your doctor or dentist knows you're pregnant before prescribing anything or giving you treatment.

At the same time it is important to remember that if you on treatment for some chronic conditions like epilepsy or diabetes you consult your doctor and continue your medications because control of such conditions is vitally important for you as well as the pregnancy.

F.A.Q.’s for male

Is masturbation harmful?
No, masturbation is not harmful in as much as producing physical disability or diminishing your virility. In fact masturbation should be seen as ‘a handful of pleasure’. It doesn’t lead to any deformity of the penis nor does it affect the ability to achieve or sustain an erection.

What's the average size of the penis?
The average size of penis is 15cm, the normal range is considered to be between 13 and 18cm.

Is penis size important?
This is one of the most frequently asked questions. The fact of the matter is that it is important only if you think so. Factually speaking, the vagina is only eight to thirteen centimeters long, and only the outer one third of it is supplied with nerves and is therefore sensitive to touch. Therefore even a very small penis can touch every square centimeter within the vagina and can certainly perform adequately.

Can penis size be increased?
Yes. There are two surgical procedures to increase penis size-- the Bihari Procedure, and Fat Injection.
The Bihari Procedure consists of cutting the ligament that secures the base of the penis to the body. This gives between one-half and two inches of increased length to the penis; however, because the penis is no longer anchored to the body an erection no longer points 'up.'
Fat Injection is the process of removing fat from the backs of the thighs and injecting it into the body of the penis to make the penis thicker. Because the body rejects a significant portion of the injection this procedure may need to be repeated several times and each operation carries with it a severe risk of infection.

My penis bends down (or left, or right). Is there something wrong with it?
One-quarter of all penises bend in some direction and some bend downward even when erect. Coming to think of it, one would really thank that the penis doesn’t have any bones in it, and therefore it can normally easily bend in many directions to perform its job without much of discomfort. Unless the bend is severe or causes you pain, there is nothing wrong or abnormal about your penis. It should not interfere with sexual intercourse. In fact some people find the bend is to their advantage, making penetration easier.

One of my testicles is larger than the other. Is it all right?
Rarely are both the testicles identical. In fact the left one hangs lower in 85% of cases. It is nothing to worry about.

Sometimes I feel pain in my testicles. Is there some thing to worry?
Intermittent twinges in the testicles are common and these sometimes happen after the intercourse. If it lasts less than a minute then there is nothing to worry.
An infection or inflammation causes testicular pain that builds up gradually. In such cases consult your doctor.

Ejaculation happens to fast. What do I do?
Again, it is one of the more frequent problems. The solution is to try to strengthen your PC( pubococcygeus) muscle. It is the muscle that you use to stop urine flow or to rid yourself of the last few drops. Try contracting it whenever you get reminded of it - in the car, at your desk, some 50 – 100 times a day. It is the same muscle that contracts for ejaculation, therefore strengthening it will give you more control during sex.